Can you put your hands on 3 yrs of EVERY page of EVERY bank statement? Compiling literally inches and inches of paperwork as pictured above is just the proverbial tip of the iceberg of the additional workload expected of the caregiver in preparation for application for medical assistance.
The decision to have to abandon home care is tough. It's hard enough to ask for help; to beg is something you thought you would never resort to.
Financial planning to protect assets is possible years in advance, but on the eve of admittance you can only hope and try for damage control.
We spent $5,800 for legal expenses related to Medicaid application. These included family legal documents, medical and durable general power of attorney, and months of legal advice from an attorney specializing in elder care law.
"According to the AAHSA: Less then 10% of adult Americans can estimate the cost of a nursing home. ..." (answer: average annual cost for a nursing home is $70,095.)
" ... The dreams and financial plans of a life time disappear. But then again MS has already begun to erode them anyway. I discovered that dreams built on a foundation of money wipe away as easily as images on an Etch-a-Sketch screen.
"... I would be lying if I said I don't sometimes experience frustration when I see so many resources in use that I tried to get for homecare and was repeatedly turned down. ..."
... "Circle the wagons" is the American frontier family spirit against all odds or any enemy. Our culture, legend, and lore teach us that is what families should do.
Somewhere along our 15 year journey of home caregiving that 'circle' of wagons became more of a 'black hole' consuming everything both tangible and intangible.
The present was overwhelming and the future was chilling. ...
"... You become something different. You are your dependent spouse's able body and mind for interacting with the world of medical care, insurance, planning and details of living.Yet you are NOT disabled. You cannot feel the emotion. You cannot know the void of loss of memory and reasoning. Too often it's like existing simultaneously in parallel universes. ..."
FOUR YEARS LATER ...
Visiting and staying involved are critical. Proximity of facility to home is invaluable.
What is nearby can make all the difference. People are often uncomfortable visiting in a care facility. Patti's facility is adjacent to a park, with a mall and movie theatres a brief wheelchair push through the park.
News coverage of natural and accidental emergencies have only reinforced our decision to originally find a one-story care facility.
"... On average I take Patti out and/or bring her home for the evening 4.5 nights a week.
Making sure her sleep machine is on, mist both her and bed linens with lavender scented Sleep Well aromatherapy spray, spray her wheelchair seat and padding with Febreeze, ..."
A nearly daily record of thoughts and family activities from our transitional year is available in our AOL Journal, "Caregivingly Yours,". Beginning with WHY SHARE (4/7/2004) through WAS IT WORTH IT (3/18/2005) for anyone walking the same path or facing the same journey.
